crossmyheartandhope

[He's quiet for a couple of beats. Then, reluctant:]

I been practicing.

Being by myself, I mean. Gotta get over it sometime, right?

[Ridges her brows]

...Do you? I mean, it's not a bad thing, liking people around.

[Which is not exactly the issue, but]

Don't I? I mean... it's been a while.

Gotta pull it together eventually.

Yeah...

[Uncertain, though. Neither of them are from a background where 'walk it off' isn't the typical answer, but even so, from her expression, it doesn't feel right either.]

...I don't think you gotta rush it, though. Like...it's okay to start slow, too.

I mean, I worked through most of the other stuff that first week? But some of it's... just taking longer.

Kinda feel like it's way past slow by now.

It took a long time to happen, too, right? So long you wouldn't even say. I don't think anyone's gonna give you shit for not bouncing back in a month or whatever, so don't give yourself shit for it.

[Probably that argument would carry more weight if three people hadn't told him to get over it the first week.]

[But he can avoid it by just addressing the first part.]

...dunno how long it was in the first place.

[But consider: fuck those guys]

--Does it matter? What's the big hurry in the first place?

I mean, I'd kinda like to stop - [Being broken? Acting like a coward? Not pulling it together when Hiryuu seems just fine? All of those feel like they're more than he wants to admit to, though, so:] - sucking at some point, y'know?

You don't suck, don't even joke. And I'm not saying don't try anything. Just...think about what you're trying, I guess. If what you've been doing isn't helping, then let's try something different. Okay?

[But he wasn't joking. :x]

...like what?

[:')]

Like...

[Trails off, since she honestly isn't any more equipped for this than he is]

...Well, first things, what've you tried so far?

That's kinda it? I figured, it's gotta get easier sometime, right?

So I just been... staying out, some nights.

Okay. Where, with what?

Like, in an empty building? With, uh. With nothing.

I been leaving my phone, cause. Cause the sound helps, I keep wanting to put on movies or whatever.

Well, why not bring it? Being in an empty building without anything to do's shitty even without any other stuff going on. Or like, even staying at the dorm alone, or the vid room even... That's still pretty different from--well, this.

[Indicates where they're tangled here in the fort]

Yeah, but that's - I mean, it's different from that other time, too?

The point's to kind of. Y'know. Have to deal with what I had to deal with then.

[Without falling apart. Which may or may not be a work in progress.]

[Yes, she has an idea about that progress,]

Yeah... But it's like--building tolerance first, right? You didn't start out your gymnastics stuff on the tall bar from the beginning, did you? Like, you can get to there, but--you can learn to swim from the shallow end is all I'm getting at.

...you think that'll help?

Yeah, why wouldn't it? It's still getting used to dealing with being on your own. And in a way that's a lot more common than...whatever happened that time, right? So you can still train without it being so...much.

[Because just because they never talk doesn't mean she never notices. She's holding him more tightly by now, too.]

You really think that's okay, though? To just, like - half-ass it?

[It's almost the same question, but not quite.]

It's not half-assing it. You don't need a live blade to spar better.

[He's just quiet for a minute. The movie runs in the background. The villagers are promising rice to some guys if they'll come protect the village by now, probably.]

[He's curled into her a little.]

...guess it doesn't hurt to give it a try.

[Tension drains from her embrace even as she tucks him in, closer. There's no words, not right now, but she leans in, kisses him on the forehead, fierce.]

[When she moves back again, he tucks his forehead in against her, just resting it on her shoulder. He probably can't actually see the movie like this, but. Tradeoffs.]

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