crossmyheartandhope

[That is about as far as he gets, because suddenly his lap is full, and he stops talking.]

[ I can't believe I edited just to add a typo

anyway, shifting a little, carefully neutral and casual in his expression while he adjusts himself and then presses his torso against the other's - softer, different, though his scent is still the same ]

I don't think the Game Tower is really residential, either . . .

[ in a soft voice, musing ]

[Going slowly red; he tips his head away from the cast-off light from the window, to try and hide it.]

Uh. Y-yeah, I guess - I guess there's probly a closet or two in a building that big, huh.

I'm sure there's one somewhere.

[ inclining his head to rest it against the other's shoulder, letting his head tilt so his breath ghosts hurricane's ear ]

Well, if you're comfortable, it's fine all the same.

[He opens his mouth, like he means to say something.]

[Closes it again.]

[Finally manages, with effort:]

This isn't, like. Too much...?

[ settling his hands behind the curve of the other's back, lacing his fingers together to embrace him ]

I'm fine, but is it too much for you?

[On the one hand, he does not often get the level of physical contact he wants, and this is... actually really nice. The weight, and the heat, and the feel of someone else there settles something inside him a little. He didn't even have to ask for it, which brings its own host of anxieties and insecurities.]

[On the other hand,]

It's. It's kinda, like...

[ lightly, ]

Am I too heavy?

U-uh. No. You ain't - heavy.

[ with a soft laugh, as he pulls his head up ]

Is it my current form, then?

[...flushes a little more, and turns his face away from the light, to try and hide it.]

That's got nothing to do with it.

Oh, my.

Is it that my lips are too close?

[A little too rushed:]

That's not it, either.

[ huh. ]

Then, what is it?

It just feels, like...

[Hhhhesitates.]

Close. Y'know?

Is it a bad sort of close?

It's a... close kinda close?

[God, don't ask him to examine his own feelings and put them in words, what is this nonsense,]

[ it's better than being upset and scared and alone, isn't it ]

Would you rather be this close with someone else?

[I mean, yes, but,]

[Instead of answering that properly, he just ducks his head a little more. His cheeks are decidedly flushed now, even in the poor light.]

Dude, what's with playing twenty questions all of a sudden?

Well -

[ with a little shift, picking his head up now to look at him more properly ]

I don't want to make you uncomfortable . . . Is it bothering you? Do you want me to stop?

[He hesitates for a long couple of seconds, genuinely considering that. Because, honestly? There are two answers.]

[On the one hand, this is... really good. Really, really good. Something about the warmth and the weight and the feel of another person settled against him like this quiets down the need for contact that's always scratching at him inside. It's a greedy thing, never quite satisfied with scraps like bumped shoulders or too-brief hugs. He usually does his best to ignore it.]

[On the other hand, though. On the other hand, this does seem close. Much closer than sharing a bench and a blanket. He thinks of a conversation spoken in low tones, tucked up in a bedroom in Avante. He thinks about what she would think, and how she would feel, and how sick it makes him in his stomach, to even imagine making her feel that way.]

[It isn't fair, to be that selfish.]

Maybe it's just, like - kinda too close.

Mmm . . .

[ acquiescing then, with a tip of his head ]

Alright.

[ before he shifts to get off of his lap, though only just enough to sit down on the ground next to him; his arms still wrap around his torso, body pressed close - just to the side, as if it were the nuance of closeness that were the issue but not the physical distance itself. ]

Better?

Edited 2019-11-07 16:09 (UTC)

[That's - better. It feels less intimate, this way. A hug, with a blanket, instead of whatever that had been.]

[He hesitates for a long couple of seconds, then nods.]

...yeah. This is... probly okay.

[ pulling his legs close to cross them over hurricane's, a full body cuddle ]

Alright.

[He hesitates - hesitates longer.]

[Ducks his head, and glances away.]

...thanks.

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