crossmyheartandhope

[Any other time, a mob joke would go here. Instead, he just kind of deflates a little more.]

...yeah. I guess.

[ The continued deflating is a little concerning. ]

... Is there something about that you don't agree with?

...naw. Like you said. It's true, right?

We gotta know stuff.

I believe so. But I also think information can be dangerous.

Like... if you're about to jump over a hole, knowing how wide it is helps you a lot in judging how far you need to jump, right? But if you also knew that the hole was filled with snakes or something, you might decide to find another way around the hole, or that you don't really need to jump over it, eating up time you might have needed on the other side of that hole.

That's kind of an exaggeration, but it does show that information, while great, isn't king.

[He's quiet for a long couple of seconds. Then, very soft:]

What if the snakes are poison and a bunch of people die and the info you get's probly not worth the trade.

... Not every choice made will result in something overall good. Sometimes you can only aim for 'least worst' result. But from that kind of bad experience, you learn and you get better. You learn to handle poisonous snakes, and you learn to protect lives, and you learn what information may or may not be worth chasing. That's all still valuable information, though with a high cost.

But how do you know? How can you tell?

What if, like - what if you mess it up every time?

I don't think it's an easy thing to know or tell. But... it depends on what you consider a 'mess up' probably. Holding yourself to unrealistic standards turns everything into a failure, so from the start you need to set a simple goal.

'Come back alive' or 'learn about this one thing' and the like. Set simple goals and keep in mind your limitations as a person. Thinking you'll come away from something you know is dangerous with everyone in perfect condition and all the info you needed, and every other thing perfect... that just hurts you more when even one thing goes wrong. And things can always go wrong.

But I mean, there's not perfect, and then there's real, real not perfect. You know?

... Do you mind if I ask, to date, how many missions of this kind you've been on? Specifically while here in Imeeji.

I just want to try and put things into perspective.

What, like field trip stuff? We don't get out of here all that much, dude.

[He opens his mouth, to get more specific - pauses. Takes out a pad of sticky notes and scribbles on one one of them with a pen, then pushes it across the table. It reads: "just this one and one more," and he keeps his hand over it, to block the view of the cameras. When Mercury's seen it, he crumples it up and sticks it in his pocket.]

Just cause we been stuck here, though, don't mean there's not plenty to mess up right where we are.

This is what I mean though.

A new location, people you've only recently come to know or remember, a set of abilities that are unreliable because of the source, your own memories largely missing...

All of those are negative factors against you. There's no way I'd expect someone to have a perfect go given those parameters. And I'd say it'd take plenty more before you could have any kind of actual success estimate be over... say 30 or 40 percent.

...you looked around lately? Stakes're too high for 30 or 40 percent.

Which is why people have said every inch of information helps, because it lets us make better decisions. Prepares everyone for the next time and what to do to drive up those percentages even a little. To move those percentages up so we can have people come back in one piece.

... Running in blind's the equivalent of running in with a 5% chance that things will work out well for everyone.

[W-winces a little.]

Yeah. Got it. Quit charging in.

Ah- to make it a little more complicated, sometimes charging is is exactly the right thing to do. The element of surprise and opportunity, right? It's just that there's a difference in charging in knowing what's on the other side of the door and having a rope around your waist to pull you back in if things go bad and not knowing and also not having any rope at all.

... Mistakes are one of the best ways to learn. They're just also one of the highest cost ways too.

[Slumps down, so his head's resting on his arm again.]

So, what, the takeaway's get a rope and mess up less?

Having a backup plan's always a good place to start.

As for the messing up... I'd say a better plan would be be accepting that mistakes happen. And they'll cost when they do. But pushing yourself to act perfectly is just as bad.

If this is how much good I do when I'm going for perfect, I kinda don't wanna see the mess if I ever half-ass it.

I think looking at only your failures would be even more painful.

Yeah, well. Sometimes you need reminders to try harder.

And sometimes you need reminders that you don't need to tackle it all on your own.

[He opens his mouth - closes it.]

[Glances aside.]

...sorry.

Mm, I'm sorry too, I really didn't mean to lecture, but I do want to provide another perspective. What you want to do with it... that's up to you.

No, I just mean - you called me out here to talk about your plan, and instead you had to waste a bunch of time on my dumb stuff.

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