crossmyheartandhope

Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah.

Like I said, s'better to get stuff like that out of the way. So.

Ah, more like... it seems like we never know when something will happen? So getting a plan in place sooner would be better. But at the same time, I'd like it to be as well thought out as possible. Because if I mess this up, it's the people around me who'll be hurt by it.

[Pauses, and glances up at him.]

Sounds like you been thinking about it a bunch already.

I honestly felt kind of useless through that whole thing... I mean, I wasn't even aware of most of what was going on. If I can contribute via a semi-secure means of communication, then I might as well put my all into figuring one out, right?

You pull this off, we'll be in a better spot for next time, that's for sure.

Didn't really expect everyone to get split up.

Preparing for the unexpected like that will be the toughest part.

...yeah.

[He's quiet for a beat or two, like he's thinking about some things. Then:]

You gonna try and get everyone on the same page with it?

I was thinking of at least getting everyone in Heart Soldier informed on the plan. I don't really think I can speak for anyone outside of the unit right now and whether they'd be open to something like this, but most people I've talked to on the unit have expressed interest in some form or another of being able to communicate with each other safely and efficiently.

Yeah, well. Add me to the list.

Woulda been nice to have something like that, a couple days ago.

We just have to keep learning from our past. Every scrap of information's useful.

[He seems to deflate a little - sinks down, so that his arm's flat on the table and his chin's on his arm.]

Everyone keeps saying that.

I'd say it's because it's true. Better decisions can be made with more information... there's whole networks dealing in just trading info, from what I can recall. It's a profitable business.

[Any other time, a mob joke would go here. Instead, he just kind of deflates a little more.]

...yeah. I guess.

[ The continued deflating is a little concerning. ]

... Is there something about that you don't agree with?

...naw. Like you said. It's true, right?

We gotta know stuff.

I believe so. But I also think information can be dangerous.

Like... if you're about to jump over a hole, knowing how wide it is helps you a lot in judging how far you need to jump, right? But if you also knew that the hole was filled with snakes or something, you might decide to find another way around the hole, or that you don't really need to jump over it, eating up time you might have needed on the other side of that hole.

That's kind of an exaggeration, but it does show that information, while great, isn't king.

[He's quiet for a long couple of seconds. Then, very soft:]

What if the snakes are poison and a bunch of people die and the info you get's probly not worth the trade.

... Not every choice made will result in something overall good. Sometimes you can only aim for 'least worst' result. But from that kind of bad experience, you learn and you get better. You learn to handle poisonous snakes, and you learn to protect lives, and you learn what information may or may not be worth chasing. That's all still valuable information, though with a high cost.

But how do you know? How can you tell?

What if, like - what if you mess it up every time?

I don't think it's an easy thing to know or tell. But... it depends on what you consider a 'mess up' probably. Holding yourself to unrealistic standards turns everything into a failure, so from the start you need to set a simple goal.

'Come back alive' or 'learn about this one thing' and the like. Set simple goals and keep in mind your limitations as a person. Thinking you'll come away from something you know is dangerous with everyone in perfect condition and all the info you needed, and every other thing perfect... that just hurts you more when even one thing goes wrong. And things can always go wrong.

But I mean, there's not perfect, and then there's real, real not perfect. You know?

... Do you mind if I ask, to date, how many missions of this kind you've been on? Specifically while here in Imeeji.

I just want to try and put things into perspective.

What, like field trip stuff? We don't get out of here all that much, dude.

[He opens his mouth, to get more specific - pauses. Takes out a pad of sticky notes and scribbles on one one of them with a pen, then pushes it across the table. It reads: "just this one and one more," and he keeps his hand over it, to block the view of the cameras. When Mercury's seen it, he crumples it up and sticks it in his pocket.]

Just cause we been stuck here, though, don't mean there's not plenty to mess up right where we are.

This is what I mean though.

A new location, people you've only recently come to know or remember, a set of abilities that are unreliable because of the source, your own memories largely missing...

All of those are negative factors against you. There's no way I'd expect someone to have a perfect go given those parameters. And I'd say it'd take plenty more before you could have any kind of actual success estimate be over... say 30 or 40 percent.

...you looked around lately? Stakes're too high for 30 or 40 percent.

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